[Goatie Tales] The Bored Wizard - Chapter 3: The Damage Dealer

Hey everyone, I’m Goatie from Server 73.

This is Goatie Tales, a collection of short stories set in the world we all know, with a bit of humour and chaos mixed in.

This story is The Bored Wizard, following Merlin, an immortal who ran out of things to save and decided to build a team instead.

Leonidas holds the line.

Theodora keeps everyone alive.

What Merlin still needs is damage. Not subtle damage. Not polite damage. The kind of damage that makes problems stop existing.

Welcome to chapter three.

Chapter Three: The Damage Dealer

The Hall of Immortals was louder than Merlin liked.

This was saying something, because Merlin enjoyed loud things.

Leonidas was holding the centre of the hall, shield planted, stance unbreakable, but the pressure was obvious now. Every impact landed heavier than the last, driving him back step by stubborn step.

Behind him, Theodora stood calm as ever.

Golden light flowed steadily from her hands, closing wounds the instant they appeared, reinforcing Leonidas before fatigue could even think about setting in.

Merlin paced behind them, cloak singed, hair slightly smoking.

“This is escalating,” he said. “Again.”

The floor cracked.

Not a dramatic crack. A bad one.

A wide rift tore open near the far pillars, and something heavy began climbing out.

Then another.

Then several more.

They were bigger than the Roques. Broader. Built like someone had decided gnomes should function as battering rams. Their armour was thick and ugly, their weapons oversized and cruel.

Bakan gnomes.

Leonidas absorbed the first charge. The impact echoed through the hall, rattling statues and sending dust raining from the ceiling.

He held.

Barely.

A second Bakan slammed into him, then a third. Leonidas’ boots scraped against the marble as he was forced back a full step.

Golden light surged.

Theodora did not raise her voice. She did not rush.

She simply refused to let him fall.

Merlin hurled a blast of magic into the mass. Fire staggered them. Ice slowed them. One Bakan went down.

Three more climbed over it.

“That is not encouraging,” Merlin muttered.

A heavy strike slipped past Leonidas’ shield and caught his side. He grunted, dropping briefly to one knee.

Theodora’s light flared brighter.

Leonidas was on his feet again instantly.

But even Merlin could see the problem.

“We can survive this,” he said. “We cannot finish it.”

A Bakan broke through the line, charging straight for Theodora.

Leonidas turned, but he was half a step too far.

Merlin swore and snapped his fingers.

The portal tore open behind them.

Wind exploded through the hall, knocking Bakans off balance and sending debris skidding across the floor.

A man stepped through the distortion, sword already in hand.

It was Alexander the Great.

He took one look at the chaos, the Bakans, Leonidas bracing, Theodora glowing steadily behind the line.

Alexander grinned.

“Ah,” he said. “You waited until it was interesting.”

He moved.

Alexander did not announce himself. He did not charge blindly.

He cut.

His sword flashed, taking a Bakan at the joint of its armour. It dropped instantly. Another turned toward him and lost its weapon, then its balance.

Alexander flowed through the fight like it had been built for him.

Leonidas surged forward, instinctively aligning with the opening. Theodora’s light followed both of them, reinforcing strikes, restoring strength, refusing to let momentum break.

A Bakan swung a massive hammer at Alexander.

Alexander stepped inside the arc and drove his blade home.

Another tried to flank him.

Alexander turned, smiling, and ended it in one clean motion.

Merlin stopped pacing.

“Oh,” he said softly. “You’re that kind of problem.”

The Bakans tried to regroup.

Alexander did not allow it.

He pressed forward relentlessly, forcing them back step by step. Where Leonidas held, Alexander punished. Where Theodora sustained, Alexander finished.

Within moments, the fight shifted completely.

The Bakans broke.

One by one, they vanished back into the rift in violent shimmers.

Silence returned to the hall.

Alexander wiped his blade clean and finally turned toward Merlin.

“You took your time,” he said.

“I wanted to be sure,” Merlin replied. “You get bored easily.”

Alexander laughed. “Fair.”

Theodora studied him calmly. “You end battles quickly.”

“That is kinder,” Alexander said. “Long ones cost too much.”

Leonidas nodded once. “He breaks pressure.”

Merlin clasped his hands together, delighted.

“Tank. Support. Damage dealer,” he said. “That is the core.”

Alexander glanced around the Hall of Immortals, at the cracked marble already smoothing itself over.

“So,” he said. “What else keeps interrupting your peace?”

Merlin smiled.

“Oh,” he said. “Now that you are here? Probably everything.”

The portal began to glow again.

---

That’s chapter three of The Bored Wizard.

Alexander the Great has joined the team, and the dynamic has shifted fast. The Bakans pushed harder than anything before them, but once the damage dealer entered the fight, survival turned into control.

The Hall of Immortals is no longer quiet, the gnomes are escalating, and Merlin’s boredom project is officially becoming dangerous.

Did Alexander feel right as the main damage dealer? How did the Bakan gnomes stack up against the Trynts and Roques? And now that the core team is assembled, who do you think is reckless enough to challenge them next?

Drop your thoughts, predictions, or immortal suggestions below.

This is Goatie Tales, and the party is finally complete.